Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Does anyone wear see-through clothes to show off underwear?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see through liars

How would you spank me if I had been sent home from a school camp because of my poor behavior?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Has your mother ever walked in on you at an inappropriate time?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why do my friends always say "yeah, we've heard this before" when I talk about something I'm passionate about?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If a person stops thinking one or two words in a second or half second means he had stopped thinking for half second?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fakery

According to Amy Schumer, John Cena was actually inside of her during the TrainWreck love scene. I thought that was illegal in Hollywood?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy bullshit

I have a reading level above third grade

What are some important works of Marcel Proust (novelist)?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How is it not psychopathic to use someone for sex, even if they agree?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How does prayer impact those in need? Is there evidence that God intervenes and improves situations based on our prayers, or is it a psychological belief?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Does the potential of making Star Wars R-rated movies depend on whether Star Wars have stories that is too dark for PG 13 in Disney?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Is it safe to say that China is at least 30 years ahead of India?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?